Show Me My Cross (practical discipleship)

On my first day at Biola, Sean Hansen taught me how to serve underclassmen by serving me. Working with a good team, Sean gave my class the wonderful gift of a week-long freshman orientation. Instantly wanting to follow him, I interviewed and started working with his campus ministry within the month. Over the course of the next year, he took me to In-N-Out with his friends, helped me apply for his old job, and played Frisbee with me.

Four years later, two months after my own graduation, he took me to In-N-Out again and asked me, What are you most proud of accomplishing at Biola? Having been recently awarded several prestigious honors at graduation, there were several things I could have mentioned, but underneath the awards was just this: serving underclassmen. I had done much what he did, with my own twist. Among other things, I made sure to single out a few guys in each of the grades below me to talk often with about living and loving well at Biola.

All things considered, I can say with confidence that I lived and loved well at Biola. I was able to “pick up my cross daily” to follow Jesus, because people like Sean showed me my cross.

Where is my cross?

Now that I’ve graduated Biola, I’m struggling. So many changes have occurred, the biggest of which may be this: I don’t have a mentor. No one welcomed me and showed me how to pick up my daily cross, addressing the question: What does it look like for me to live and love well in Denver? Where is my cross?

This is my argument: Growth in love is accelerated by people who can show us our crosses.

Philippians 2

It’s no secret: I think Philippians 2 may be the greatest chapter of the Bible. “Have this mind,” Paul begins, “which is yours in Christ Jesus,” whose sacrificial, others-oriented mind Paul illustrates with beautiful poetics. In this light, “work out your own salvation,” or work out practically what this mind should look like in your own life. But “in [Paul’s] absence,” that was difficult (as it is today). So he holds up for them Timothy and Epaphroditus, “who will be genuinely concerned for [their] welfare.” They ought to be imitated, as ought Paul: “Whatever you have learned and received and heard in me– practice these things and the God of peace will be with you.”

Who might be able to show us our crosses?

1. Friendship. Wesley Hill is an insightful and articulate celibate Christian with a genius for friendship. Friendship, he argues, is the crucible in which Christian charity is forged. It is the best arena for us to learn to love with the strength and after the example of Christ. Although it’s important for all of us, and “greater love has no man than this,” (John 15:13) it’s especially important for single people who don’t have spouses to call our “best friend.” When I lived with him in California, Andrew let me pray for him daily and buy him lunch almost every other week — he, of course, prayed for me just as often and bought lunch the weeks I didn’t. Friendships help address the question, For whom can I give up life and how?
2. Family. One November night during college, my parents took me out to dinner. Over spaghetti and wine, they began to tell me more stories from when they were my age than they’d ever shared before. The realization I came to after each one was, “So that’s why I am the way I am. I’m like you.” I never realized how much of a Franicevich I was. They helped me navigate the question, Given our quirky family heritage and culture, What does a living and loving well like a Franicevich look like?
3. Church. One Sunday, Lore asked me “How are you doing?” to which I responded, “Anxious, thank you.” She kindly connected me with her husband who shared with me his thoughtful reflections on living with anxiety attacks and fear of new situations. He’s helping me navigate the relationship between praying for personal peace and seeking professional counseling. Churches, after all, are patchwork priesthoods of bumbling believers from all walks of life, within which each of us is bound to find someone with a similar struggle. Church is a good place to ask, What does living and loving well look like for me, given my circumstances?
4. Work. Many people struggle to integrate their faith with their work. The Denver Institute for Faith and Work — for whom I work! — is starting groups for Christian professionals to think together about how to live with and for God in their daily life, even their professions. Where is the cross in my office? is a question best asked in community with, and the under the mentorship of, other professionals within your industry. Who has been doing what you do now, and how have they done it well? “Consider the outcome of their way of life, and imitate their faith.” (Heb. 13:7) Who could you connect with?

If you’re like me and are looking for something like this, consider praying something like the following: Father, thank you for sending us your Son as an example, who “only did what [he] saw [his] Father doing.” As we your children seek to live “the life of God,” send us rich examples, heroes, to imitate.