Confessions of a White Privileged Christian Female American

Carrie Allen

A few months ago I was walking down the streets of Berkeley. The sun was setting, and as the city darkened I threw my purse around my neck in order to hold on a little tighter. There weren’t many people out and about so as I watched an African American male dressed in dark colors with a hat on approach me from a couple blocks away, my heart started to race just a bit. The fear of being robbed flashed through my mind as I began to walk closer to this stranger, only then to realize… Oh God, it’s my friend from church! My whole body shuttered as I realized that I was scared of my friend, my brother in Christ. And I wondered, how many people feel the same way about this amazing person every single day as he walks his own neighborhood.

As much as I am utterly embarrassed to admit this to the world, I feel that it must be done. Because if the issue of racial profiling will ever come to forefront of conversation in this country, it must begin with the racial profilers. Though I am guilty of racial profiling, believe it or not, I have actually been racially profiled. It’s true. One time when I was pulled over by Irvine, California Police Department, the officer looked at my license and said, “What race are you?” I responded with “White.” “Well you don’t look White,” the Officer scowled back. I was terrified. I thought to myself, well sheesh, they don’t give you the option of “mixed” or “multiple races” on your drivers license application (I am a Caucasian and Mexican American). Lucky for me he let me go unharmed. Unlucky for him, this privileged White girl took her complaint all the way over to the Chief of Police… and they listened.

But what happens when people do not have that privilege in this society? We’ve all heard about cops racially profiling black males, searching their cars for no reason, and hassling them though they are innocent. What about the black males who are walking home on just a regular day – like my friend who I profiled – they don’t have the same privilege as a White male walking home. What happens when a young black teenager with an iced tea and a bag of skittles is walking home in a hoodie and it automatically profiled as a trouble maker… as someone who “always gets away.” What happens when that teenager is shot and killed by an overzealous neighborhood watchman, who ultimately gets acquitted on the self-defense argument (because the sidewalk is now a weapon)? And what happens when no one wants to admit that this entire case revolves around race because people believe that racism in America is dead?

Well we know exactly what happens, because we are living in it. I am not going to go on and on talking through specifics, as I only want to focus on one thing. If we as Christians (specifically White, privileged Christians) truly care about racial reconciliation, now is the time to show it. Now is the time to admit that the Zimmerman/Martin case was and is about race. We must admit to ourselves that we know that Zimmerman would have never followed a White teen around the neighborhood that night. And I dare say we also know that if Zimmerman were African American and Martin were White, Zimmerman would have been convicted months ago. It is time for privileged Christians to recognize why this case has been so heart-wrenching for our African American brothers and sisters, and to step up and stand alongside them as they walk through what this means for them, their families, and especially their young black sons. It is time for each one of us to admit to ourselves that when we see an African American male walking towards us, we clench our purses a little tighter – we profile! And most importantly, it is time for us privileged Christians to admit that we are privileged, and to try our best to truly understand what that means, and what that has brought us in our lives. I challenge you reader to think about this, read more, and instead of fighting back in the comments section, to really meditate on what I am saying here. Lord, have mercy.

“We must be concerned not merely about who murdered them, but about the system, the way of life, the philosophy which produced the murders”

-MLK

Recommended Articles (from me) To Read:

http://www.christianitytoday.com/edstetzer/2013/july/3-things-privileged-christians-can-learn-from-trayvon-marti.html?paging=off

http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/newsdesk/2013/07/george-zimmerman-not-guilty-blood-on-the-leaves.html

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2013/jul/14/open-season-black-boys-verdict

Carrie Allen
Carrie is a former regular contributor to The Two Cities.

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8 responses to “Confessions of a White Privileged Christian Female American”

  1. Sandy Hill

    Well written, Carrie.
    Amen to the MLK quote!

    Reply
    1. Jeremy Goad

      Carrie, I want to respond in a thoughtful way to your thoughtful post. I have written and deleted three drafts of a comment, and started over all three times. Unfortunately, the sensitive nature of these discussions makes it hard for me to express my thoughts without over-thinking the ramifications of attempting to express myself. I want so desperately to be sensitive to the hurts of others, that to have an open dialogue seems a daunting task.

      And that may be the problem. It is clear that the failure of the prosecution in this case, besides the complication of Florida’s “stand your ground” laws, was its overreach to try and convict on the grounds of murder 2 instead of manslaughter. That overreach was due to the fact, a fact upon which almost all legal commentators agree, that society (or the media, or the NAACP, or the twitterverse, or whatever) was focusing on race so much, that the common humanity of Zimmerman and Martin was lost. Because of the emphasis on race, the jury’s job switched from determining whether or not Zimmerman committed a crime to whether or not Zimmerman was a racist. One charge is conceivably able to be proven, the other is not because no one can get in Zimmerman’s head.

      That is the fundamental problem with hate crimes legislation, prosecutorial overreach, court cases examining the propriety of privileged status (Affirmative Action, Title IX, etc.): when we attempt to police and adjudicate thought, we more often than not overlook the actual crimes, the shameful dehumanizing of one human by another. Their are times when thought comes into play in determining the severity of the charges (premeditation, etc), but when our focus on crimes transitions from the “what” (the reality of one person acting unjustly toward another person) to the “why”, we lose the very thing we care most about in this country, equality under the law.

      I agree with you that this case was indeed about race, and I think that is why Zimmerman is walking the streets a free man. Our society talks a lot about how to start treating others equally, unfortunately, our answers often do just the opposite. The brilliant economist Thomas Sowell (who just so happens to be black, which shouldn’t HAVE to be noted, but if I don’t mention it — well, the quote comes off as rascist) once said, “If you have always believed that everyone should play by the same rules and be judged by the same standards, that would have gotten you labeled a radical 60 years ago, a liberal 30 years ago and a racist today.” I guess that was my hesitation in commenting. I desire more than anything for people to be judged by the “content of their character rather than the color of their skin,” but it is hard to do that when the first thing we talk about in regards to any societal issue is the specific genetic makeup of an individual rather than just accepting both the accused and the victim without fanfare as, well, human.

      Alright, I’m sure I’ve stepped in it somehow. And if for any reason my view has offended anyone due to its idealism, or lack of nuance or sensitivity, or whatever other accusation can be leveled, I proactively apologize. Thank you again for your passionate, sensitive, and thoughtful post. Good work.

      Reply
      1. Carrie Allen

        Hi Jeremy! Okay, so this may sound weird, but I think I have you right where I want you. I would have written this response to myself maybe 3 or 4 years ago, so I totally hear where you’re coming from.

        First, to get this out of the way, I tend to agree with you on the prosecution stuff. This is why I tried my best to not focus on that in this blog, but more on the fact that everyone (including one of the prosecutors!) keep denying this case is about race, when it definitely is.

        Okay, now on to the good stuff. Quoting you:

        “I guess that was my hesitation in commenting. I desire more than anything for people to be judged by the “content of their character rather than the color of their skin,” but it is hard to do that when the first thing we talk about in regards to any societal issue is the specific genetic makeup of an individual rather than just accepting both the accused and the victim without fanfare as, well, human.”

        Okay, so this is where I learned the hard way that I wasn’t understanding racial reconciliation (especially when it comes to the church). I have learned over the past few years that by NOT recognizing the color of the skin, I cannot possible work towards reconciliation. So I believe that ignoring race in this case is incredibly hurtful because we are ignoring the history of the African American community on a whole.

        So, you MUST read this book because it changed my life. “Divided By Faith” by Michael O. Emerson. I literally wish that I had the drive to get my PhD because I would want to study under this man. He’s awesome. He quoted some great authors in his book in regards to reconciliation.

        A glimpse into John Perkins view – he says: That people must admit that there are racial problems. Then they submit by recognizing the problems are spiritual and only solvable by surrendering to the will of God.

        Philip Yancey gives four steps to achieve racial reconciliation. The second demands recognizing social structures of inequality, and that all Christians must resist them together. Third is that whites must repent of their personal, historical, and social sins (I believe the first step in this one is not to ignore race). The fourth is the blacks must accept our apology (this cannot come if we are ignoring race).

        And finally a quote from Carl Ellis – “Tears and hugs and saying I’m sorry is a good first step, but for me, the questions is not of changing the hearts of individuals as much as it is dealing with the systems and structures that are devastating African-American people.”

        On a personal level, it took me really immersing myself into the inner city of Oakland a couple years ago – working at the County hospital, and attending an all African American church, to truly understand where this community is coming from, and to know that these feelings are real.

        So this is where people (like yourself) go wrong. THIS statement (you made) exactly. I hate to be counselor cliche now, but honestly, how does this make you feel? Do you see more of where I am coming from?

        Reply
        1. Jeremy Goad

          Carrie, thanks for your quick response. I do see where you are coming from. I, maybe unlike yourself, was raised in a very integrated environment both physically and spiritually and have come to my view points a little later in life. So my far-from-sheltered-far-from-privileged personal story has informed my worldview, albeit perhaps not quite as “progressive” as some might like it to be, but HISTORICALLY extremely liberal. Like way out in left-field liberal. Like overthrow religious systems and governments liberal. Like fight civil wars liberal.

          I will pick up the book you mentioned. Until then, here are my initial thoughts to the subsequent points.

          Let me comment on some of the suggestions from the book you citied:
          John Perkins view: yes and amen. Nothing to add.

          Phillip Yancey (a personal favorite of mine): If that third step means a collective repentance, than I would say that is impossible. I (and I hate to have to use “I’ but I have to in order for this to make sense even though I will sound like a Neanderthal) have personal sins for which I must reconcile. I however cannot repent for historical or social sins. Whites (nor men, nor straights, et al) cannot collectively repent for abuses. Am I grieved by abuses of power or historical injustices? Absolutely! But that cannot reasonably be equated with complicity.

          As for the Ellis quote: “dealing with the systems and structures that are devastating African-American people.” I really would need to know what this means before I can comment specifically. I would have much to say about systems if they mean the rule of law, but if they mean corrupt individuals (which would include all of us), I would have something different to say.

          I would say my statement is definitely NOT where people go wrong. It is the promise of the what Dr. King proposed. It is what many of us have given our lives to do. It is one thing to talk about treating people as equals, it is another thing to do it and EXPECT it of each other — without equivocation, without accommodation.

          Like my last comment, I know that the PC police could haul me in at this point. I’ll share my cell with Bill Cosby and Dr. Ben Carson and know that my skin color has not afforded me the credibility to say what they have said. And I know your focus was on the church’s stance and not necessarily a societal stance, but they are for me at least somewhat intertwined. This is good dialogue though. I appreciate the forum and your contribution to the Great Conversation.

          Reply
          1. Carrie Allen

            Thanks for your kind words and honesty! I believe just having this conversation is helpful not only to us, but to all the readers (if anyone is reading anymore…). We may have to agree to disagree on some things, but when it comes to big picture, I think we are on the same page… well, maybe just the same book (for now).

            I would LOVE for you to read that book and let me know what you think.

  2. Joe

    “It is time for privileged Christians to recognize why this case has been so heart-wrenching for our African American brothers and sisters, and to step up and stand alongside them as they walk through what this means for them, their families, and especially their young black sons.”

    I think we have to be careful generalizing things here. Not all Christians are privileged, but I get the point you’re making that white Christians are more privileged that non-white Christians, which again appears to be a generalization to me.

    There are facts and statistics however that do show black on white crime is higher than visa versa. Basing a fear on that in my opinion wouldn’t be unreasonable but is unnecessary knowing that regardless of circumstance God’s will is perfect in all situations and He is sovereign. Walking alone at night and being approached by anyone should be something to be concerned about and I’m sure you would be, whether they are black, white, hispanic, asian etc.

    I think there are a lot of suppositions in this piece that while I understand your point I don’t fully think those judgements can be placed. You’re calling Zimmerman a racial profiler. I think people forget that NBC released 911 tapes and edited it so it made it sound like Zimmerman was racist. The edited out the part where the dispatcher asked the ethnicity of the person (a standard question asked every time I have called 911). Zimmerman answered “I think he might be black”.

    How can you say he wouldn’t have followed a white teen around? White teens aren’t ever up to no good? I’ve read plenty of stories.

    Again not really trying to cause contention, just feel that your conclusion is that Zimmmerman wouldn’t have followed a white teen is a judgement call that we cannot answer or suppose or agree to. I’d like to see all of the other times where he called 911 regarding suspicious people. If they weren’t all black people then that puts a hole in “we must admit”.

    I profile people all the time based on their looks, not their skin color. If you’re walking in a bad neighborhood or good neighborhood, and you are encountering someone, there is nothing wrong with analyzing the person and situation, that’s smart. It becomes wrong when you do it because of skin color only and not the particulars of the circumstance.

    Reply
    1. Joe

      I guess that sounded bad… profiling people based on their looks. What I mean to say by that, someone who is up to no good and is intending you harm will be giving off looks and body language that you can pick up and read.

      Reply
  3. Joe

    I also read a story of a guy walking in a park in Milwaukee this last Sunday night. He was attacked by several black males who were shouting “This is for Trayvon” the black neighbor lady across the street yelled for them to stop. Then a young black couple came up and the man yelled at them and told them to stop. He stooped down and held the man and told him everything would be ok as long as he was there.

    The man beaten up said that in that moment “that grounded him”.

    And what he said next really stuck with me, because it’s how we should look at people and situations in my opinion regardless of race. He said:

    “I’ve never been raised to think anything of people other than how they present themselves to me, how they are. And that just showed it again last night. I’ve got to keep that belief because if I lose that, I lose everything,” he said.

    Reply

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