One of the few widely shared sporting events many of us have been able to experience together during the “Covid Exile” has been ESPN’s “The Last Dance”—the uber-entertaining docuseries set to a masterful, boom bap 90’s soundtrack, offering an insider’s look back at the greatest team in history, led by its greatest player, Michael Jordan.
So yes, contrary to the click-bait title, I am not arguing that Kobe was better than MJ on the court. Nobody was. But for me, heading into Father’s Day, Kobe will always be greater because of how he lived his life as a father.
Nowhere is the difference between these two more pronounced than in two parallel addresses: Michael Jordan’s Hall of Fame Speech and Kobe Bryant’s Jersey Retirement Speech (we unfortunately are deprived from hearing KB’s remarks at the Hall of Fame podium). Michael, in a well-publicized moment of bizarre pettiness, took the podium to settle old scores with the high school coach who cut him and with players and execs that crossed him. When his remarks turned to his children, alluding to how it must be to live in the shadow of the great Michael Jordan, he looked at them and said, “I wouldn’t want to be you guys.”
By contrast, when Kobe took the mic to sum up his career, he gave pride of his place to his girls. The remarks he left them with deserve to be immortalized:
“Lastly our daughters, Natalia, Bianca and Gianna. You guys know that if you do the work, you work hard enough, dreams come true. You know that, we all know that. But hopefully what you get from tonight is that those times when you get up early and you work hard; those times when you stay up late and you work hard; those times when don’t feel like working — you’re too tired, you don’t want to push yourself — but you do it anyway. That is actually the dream. That’s the dream. It’s not the destination, it’s the journey. And if you guys can understand that, what you’ll see happen is that you won’t accomplish your dreams, your dreams won’t come true, something greater will. (Points to the rafters). And if you guys can understand that, then I’m doing my job as a father.”
Michael looked at his kids and saw them as kids who would never measure up. Kobe looked at his girls and expected them to surpass him. That’s a good dad.
Yes, I know that Kobe Bryant is profoundly flawed; as is Jordan. We deserve better icons and role models than what sports offer. Both men are laughably narcissistic, both have their history of philandering. But Kobe signifies something that is as close to redemption as we can find in superstar athletes today—a transcendent athlete whose individual greatness as a player was arguably matched by the legacy he wanted to leave as a father. And that’s worth writing about.
The world is changed. And if we’re going to get out of this mess, I’m convinced that one thing we will sorely need now more than ever is good fathers. Fathers who will teach and show their kids that there are things worth working hard for. Fathers who can give their kids better options for an upside-down world besides cynicism, besides hatred, and besides even mere kindness. To “Be Kind” is the catchphrase of a woke generation — but from where I stand, kindness won’t be enough. Kindness is performative; it often costs nothing; and kindness requires little in the way of developing inner character. Good is harder. Good takes training and time. As a Christian, actually having a good heart (rather than acting kind) means learning how to walk in the footsteps of the Spirit, to hear his voice, and follow after the compassion and rightness of Jesus. Good stands up for others when the cameras are off and does the right thing when no one is looking.
I miss Kobe. We could use more good dads like him right now.
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