Today I discovered a mind-blowing realization about being an ambivert. No, it’s not related to some kind of slimy animal, but it’s about a personality type. I started writing this blog post, thinking about survival strategies for introverts in large group settings. Since I’ve labeled myself as an introvert for awhile, after taking the Myers-Briggs test in college, and scoring quite high on on the introversion scale, I thought of myself as a pretty solid introvert, taking pride in my introversion by posting articles on introversion on Facebook and sending them to extroverted friends. In grad school, being pushed out of my introverted bubble, into a life of much social activity – being publicity chair for our student body, and also working in recruiting for Biola’s graduate program, I exercised more of my shadow extroverted side, and I actually enjoyed being with people more. While still having introverted tendencies, in needing time alone to recharge after many social activities, I think I am actually closer to an ambivert (someone who falls in the middle of the introversion/extroversion) spectrum, than I used to think. Actually, I just came across this term – ambivert, in reading blog posts about about introversion/extroversion as I thought about writing this post. I usually call myself a friendly or social introvert, but now that I’ve discovered the term ambivert – that is probably more apt.
Ambiverts are people who enjoy and need both alone time and social activity. Since they straddle the fence between extroversion and introversion, they can be re-charged by both social activity or alone time, depending on the situation. Most people are probably closer to being ambiverts than either extreme introverts or extroverts.
For example, this past weekend, I enjoyed hitting up the dance floor at a large graduation party on Friday night (especially with my 18-month nephew), went on a hike with a small group of people on Saturday morning, took a 4 hour nap on Saturday afternoon, burned some old bills in our fire pit and roasted marshmallows with a friend on Saturday evening, and went to church on Sunday morning, then went to dinner with a friend on Sunday evening. I do like to fill a lot of my free time with social activities with friends, yet I thoroughly enjoy and need my alone time. I enjoy going concerts, karaoking (Filipinos love Karaoke!), and going to Disneyland (more extroverted activities). I also enjoy times of solitude in scenic places like the beach or a park, reading, studying, thinking, and writing (more introverted activities). I still lean more on the introverted side of being an ambivert, but I do enjoy being with people. I enjoy networking and connecting with different types of people, as I’m all about building bridges between cultures and people. Community is something that I highly value.
It’s interesting because everyone around me probably noticed that I was an ambivert (not necessarily using this term), before I came to embrace it myself. My friend and acquaintances tell me as I walk across campus, waving hello to various people, “Grace, you know everyone!” and usually I shrug this statement off, and say something to deflect it like, “No, not really,” or “I don’t know how I know so many people.” Now that I reflect that I’m actually more of an ambivert and networker than I admit to often times, it makes sense.
A mentor once said to me (actually I’ll give a shoutout to Josh Carroll, for this) – “Grace, don’t use your introvert label to limit yourself in growing in where God wants to grow you and stretch you.” (Thank you, Josh Carroll, for pushing me out of my introverted bubble!) While I think it’s good to know what our tendencies are to be able to recognize them and work with them, I think it’s true that we can grow our “shadow” sides to become more holistic people. Also recognizing that some of my extreme introversion was from some of the shame of wounds and hurts of the past, and having deep healing come into these places have also helped in the growth of my confidence and extroverted side. I am fascinated by the study of personality, which is why psychology and spiritual formation interests me, and as I reflect on the growth process, it’s true that God does bring transformation in parts of our personality to grow us more into His likeness, to use our gifts for the building up of the Body, and to be able to display His Kingdom on earth.
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